spirits_soul

What I learned from last year- going off of meds is not a good thing. If I do that again, I need to be living on my own.
I'm so very thankful that I didn't lose my son in the multiple tragedies that struck Japan early last year. I get teary just watching the videos of the tsunami... I can't imagine being without my boy.

I'm still not sure what to think of my youngest's boyfriend. He's had 4+ jobs this last year and hasn't kept any of them. Not that I would mind, really. But she does have a disability, and although it's good to have him around for that reason, they have to eat and pay bills and she just got
laid-off.

My oldest... well, I think her newfound... economic status might separate us. Now that she is financially secure so to speak, and I'm not she calls a lot less. She says school is the main reason but I'm not so sure about that. I do know she speaks regularly to her father. That might me monetarily motivated as well. See, she used to be outraged at his failed marriage to her step-mom. Did that make sense? Anyway, she used to say that her step brother was not getting her inheritance, because he was now getting a free ride to college, the latest cell phone technology, etc., etc.,.. so yeah.

I mainly just leave it alone. I won't force communication with my kids. It has to be a two way communication and most of the time it doesn't happen. I figure when they are ready to talk they will call or stop by.

This whole communication thing brought about new efforts by my ex to keep open communication going. He even offered to dog-sit for me, and he invited me over to go through boxes of the kids stuff. I'll save that story for another day. At first I thought he was joking, but upon learning he divorced because HE was getting abused, I cut him some slack. Still... it's weird when I go over there.

I'm hoping to post more here this year. Last year was too screwed up. Plus, I ended the year with the flu. This year I'm really going to need some major miracles to stay alive and productive.

All that to say, happy new year. I guess.

It was a very tense day here. Thank god my siblings were gone for the most part of it. But Todays events caused a verbal exchange that shouldn't have taken place. Not for anyone thinking about what they should have done.

I just don't get knee-jerk reactions. I'm glad I didn't see my siblings until after dark and after I had time to cool down. I threw rocks around the yard to blow off steam. I had a nice long hot bath too.

Afterwards I was good to myself and ordered some pizza and watched somedays dreamers. Now I'm going to get into my jammies and watch Hanna.

*sighs*

I'm going to take a trip back east in a few days. I have a pretty sick daughter and I'm hoping I can help her out for a couple of weeks.

Since moving away from the Phx. area I've been really isolated. Public transportation in Arizona is non-existent. My plane leaves PHX and returns to TUC, that's how I got a really cheap deal. Had I known I was going to have problems with getting to and from the airport I would have paid the extra money to fly out and return to the same one.

Those funky shuttles that run back and forth the two cities have weird coverage. One doesn't go in-between cities, another only picks up from one of four locations here in the old pueblo, and the third goes in-between cities only- so if I choose the last one I won't be able to take the same shuttle service from TUC back to where my car is. I would have to take yet a fourth shuttle carrier from the airport back to my car...

I have a headache just thinking about the inane logistics I have to go through to make my life work. I want to hire someone from Japan to come over and retro-fit/ reconstruct the mass transit for arizona. I hate driving on the freeway. It will never be finished. Ever. And by the time it's been patched up to the point of overlapping I'll be dead anyway.

*sighs*